Then there was the guy I met on a skiing holiday and dated for four months despite discovering on the first night he was the worst kisser I’d ever met. More: It’s official: Just go to bed angry and finish fighting in the morning To endure his boring company for two days, I ended up pretending to sleep in, not daring to move, just so he wouldn’t wake up and increase the time we had to spend together. I’ve no idea why, but I invited him away for the weekend. Like the guy who would call me every day to talk about himself, but never asked a single thing about the MA program I’d started the week after our first date. Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink:The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, calls this ability “thin-slicing” and describes it as our unconscious ability “to find patterns in situations and behavior based on very narrow slices of experience.” I’d seen right away that Scott favored the new, and that he wasn’t a man in love, but I ignored my hunches.įor years, I continued to ignore the little voice in my head that “just knew” when a guy wasn’t right for me. Our gut feelings are very good indicators of what’s really going on in any situation, and relationships are no different. Three months later, Scott dumped me by text message, owing me money and refusing to return my calls. After all, he was the one with all the relationship experience, so he must know better than me the difference between love and infatuation. But I rattled off, “I love you too,” figuring, “What harm would it do?” I reasoned away my initial mistrust. A wave had pinned him under, and tumbling along the seabed, he decided if he made it, he would tell me how he felt. The day he told me he loved me, he’d had a scare out surfing. More: 7 signs you’re dating a dirty, dirty cheater
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